I don’t give a damn about my reputation [LOUD GUITAR]
You’re living in the past it’s a new generation
[SHREK ATTACKS THE KNIGHTS AT LORD FARQUAD’S CASTLE]
I wanna be hot enough to make people question their sexual orientation
i’m ugly enough to make people question their sexual orientation
does katy perry die at the end of the katy perry movie
yes but on the third day she rises again to perform wide awake
oh hi peter
awww you are a cutie
PETER WHAT ARE U DOING
BUT PETER YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO GROW UP
no fuck it i’m done
-Passes out and dies
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful.
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty.
I am not a fucking novelty.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
-Rachel Wiley (via howweknewit)
the best part of an oreo is the black cookie part and not the frosting part
deal with it
darkness without light is an abyss
light without darkness is blinding
you cannot have a coin with one side.
yo socrates it’s a fucking cookie